Jeffs-Site

This organization is involved in leading the way to restore the basic health and freedom of people living in the beautiful Appalacian Mountains of West Virginia whose existence has been reduced to that of a third world country because of mining companies polluting their water and environment so severaly they cannot wash their clothes, get a simple glass of drinking water, or retreive fish from their local lakes and streams because of severe pollution from coal slurry.

Thank you for your support.

Love,

sigh……..

unfortunately or fortunately you know, I love to help people….
I wish the state of california felt that was worth paying well
it’s like a dare
go ahead and leave it alone it says
see if we faulking care
just try to make your bills faulker
lets see how you do
bleeding your heart out
doing the Christian love thing
keeping old people from starving
and being quietly beaten by their shitty families
helping molested kids get their lives back together
and find a reason not to take their lives
making sure people with HIV and AIDS don’t starve
or ache every minute of their lives
go help those challenged families
see if we faulking care
child care shmild care,
the T.V. works just fine
my little zombies never talk back,
as long as I buy them what they want
it works for us,
it’s not like we ever see them
it’s not in my backyard
it’s not my kids
it’s not my family
it’s not me
so clearly
once again
see if we faulking care
we don’t care anymore about you
than we do the animals
stupid vegetarian
stupid Christian
with all your love and compassion
all your urge to help
to improve
to lift up
who are you to lift a finger
when there’s tax dollars at work here
we have war to make
and people to elect
faulk your ocean purity
your requests for less particulates in the air
you hope of happier healthier families
faulk you
stupid Christian
bleeding heart
faggot
faulker
hippie
tree hugger
dreamer
idealist
tweak
dumbshit
see if we faulking care
NIMBY
Not In My Back Yard
let your memories haunt you
let the kids just cry
dollars are drying up faulker
serves you right for trying to make a difference
you and all the teachers
who are you to speak up
shut up and teach my kids
shut up and save my neighbors daughter
shut up and sell my rubber ducks while I keep all the profit
how dare you speak up while I run you in the ground
hippie
retard
asshole
punk
spaz
faulker
give up
shut up
clean it up
and don’t tell me about it
if I don’t know about it
I can’t understand it
If I can’t understand it
I won’t feel compassion
If I don’t feel compassion,
I won’t want to help
If I don’t want to help
I can keep driving this snazzy ass car
and not be bothered that I’m faulking you over
this crucial and integral part of society that you are
You will not be elevated my friend
you will not be exhalted
you will be faulked over
faulked over by me and my congressional friends
Why? Why? You have the audacity to ask?
Because you tell us things we don’t want to hear
and it contaminates our delusions
violates our ego’s
burdens our minimally beating hearts
with your eternally lifted, white hot pumping blood
crying out for vengance
how dare you try to improve our lives
and the lives of others
we set up this whole thing to make you tune people out
and never give a shit about anything but yourself
don’t look over your neighbors fence
don’t look over the wall at the landfill
don’t look down the river pouring into the ocean
and never ever don’t you faulking ever dare to look away from your T.V Set,
and peek behind the curtain
into the realm of lies and denial we’ve worked so hard to maintain and build
the phramaceutical companies
the meat industry
the tobacco companies
All our lovely dismissive HMO’s
insurance and elitist tax breaks
you stupid little faulk
how dare you even ask
Stupid Christian out saving souls
faulking tree hugger out saving the environment
Stupid health nut trying to prevent diseases and give people better lives
all your love, your compassion, your stupid words of wisdom, and your laughter and energy
just shut up,
stop helping,
eat some cows and pigs
go get some smokes
stop peeking over the fence
get a damn inhaler at Kaiser
and shut the faulk up
or better yet,
keep doing what your doing
and See if we care,
good luck paying your bills
good luck with your hopes
try to sell your story to the papers dumbshit
we already bought them out
keep doing what your doing
and see if we care.

These are the words that scream past your skin,
that speak in the silence of your policies,
that I stand still in the daytime
and am deafened by
your psychic chatter
your scary faulking thoughts
all that filth and dirt you step on the brand new sneakers of my existence with
it makes me feel sick
and better yet it makes me feel sad…

and yes, you finally guessed it
I hear it before you say it
I feel it before the words erupt from your mouth
and fly at me like daggers
I can lock my doors when my eyes are closed
I can see you when you stand still when they’re still shut
and instantly know you’re there
I can feel the wrongs done to you with a touch of your hand or when you brush against me
I can see the memories that you think are only your own
and my dreams come true before I know what they are,
and most of the time
they just make me cry

just me and God and a sigh in the morning
and I get up and do it all again.

And does anybody listen….
most of the time, no.
But you really really dig my tunes,
I guess that’s good enough.
Now you know my existence…
Question is, what will you do, and what is it to you?

Just be like the state of California,
See if we care.

Indeed State of California,
We’ll see how God feel’s about people like you,
trying to keep down people like me,
yes indeed State of California, you better believe,
oh yes indeed,
we’ll see who laughs last.

It’s so hard sometimes you know
looking at the sunsets
looking at the people walking down the streets
just meandering along and trying to be nice to people
I look at them and I can just tell
it’s like , I think to myself(about them)…you’re still there arent’ you
lost in that misty haze of uselessness
misguideness
shallowness
scertain differences
and I just think of how I feel, how I am as myself
I’m like a different species, I never want to and might never be the same again
struggling to just talk and be nice and just keep moving forward
It’s so f’ing hard when people waste your time, and waste your life
it’s the one thing that they never ever can give back to you….
and all the apologies in the world won’t make up for not doing the right thing to begin with…
stop worrying and start living, oh irony we meet again
how I desperately wish I could
and I do try
but I sit and think for a while
how much I miss my cousin, how funny he was at christmas
all his stupid white elephant gifts,
totally fun
I got some of the coolest stuff from those,
one mans junk is really another mans treasure

and then there’s poor Jamie, and Wayne,
I’m so sorry…
I miss you soo much.
I miss laura
I miss Mr. Valle
I miss you Grandpa, all your throaty r’sss.
and Mike

I wish I knew what happened, you were so much freakin’ fun. Here and gone… what bullshit.

and now there’s two others, who knows how that will turn out

I’ll just try to stay up I guess and give it my best shot.

There’s so much I don’t understand.
and faces I’m haunted by every day,
it never goes away
it never lets up
it never ever changes
and the worst part is just anything sets’ it off sometimes
I’ll think I’m fine and a commercial or quick comment will be said
and I’m a total mess, red eyed and freaking ballin’ trying to fight back the tears, even when I think I’m doing good
and yet all these grumpy petty a’holes crowd up our streets
like that wowan who went off at me for parking near her store the other day at 7:45 in the morning…

you, you’re the ones I’m stuck with and the cool one’s move on…..

What bullshit.

but then again I dont’ know you and I’m certainly no one to judge, and I would never wish that on anyone, that’s horrible
dislike is one thing, that’s another, but man do you have to be so lame? Such a waste? Such a downer? Such an ass?

I’m trying to stay up despite all this, F’ing a, can’t you even try a little to not be such a disaster, and be nicer for goodness sake?

that’s me, the stupid vegetarian, all filled with Love and Hope and Compassion, rather starve than hurt something else for a dinner
that’s me, the stupid Christian, all filled with Love and Hope and Compassion and Mercy
trying my best to be the way to others the way I’d like them to be to me, joking, laughing, trying to have fun,and wondering why they don’t do the same on their own with me,
that’s me the stupid green hippy, the treehugger, wishing you didn’t have to use up so much paper without recycling so the earth isn’t so totally screwed
trying to be cheerful, good and healthy self esteem, motivated, respectful, upwardly mobile, to keep things running at their prime so I can just kick back for a minute without it all falling apart,
that’s me, stupid Mr. Vitamins, organic, trying to help you be healthy, and happy, trying to help you steer clear of all those easily avoidable pitfalls of life with a few supplements and some nice fresh tofu and juices, maybe a little soup right?

I get tired of your comments, but I wouldn’t have it any other way, I am very proud of who I am and I’m doing a pretty damn good job of it all things considered.

God forbid you should get all this….

Some people just can’t resist trying to keep a good man down you know?
It never occurs to them there might be other things you’re trying to manage
Look at Jesus, my Lord…
Faultless, and Crucified for all of our faults.

I’ll gladly take the punches and be more like him as the days go by,

than throw the first stone, and be a hypocrite.

dug it, good stuff

I’m wondering what my rights are in the good ol U.S. of A.

Quite honestly my wondering is outweighed by the notion that there’s really not alot of affordable housing in California anymore, and why I haven’t seen better paying jobs recently. You know honestly that’s who shoulders all the burden for all these crazy housing prices, the employers. My mother does payroll her work and she was telling me about all the hikes in insurance costs for the employers for liability insurance these last few years, it’s almost quadrupled. That’s where all the money for raises, and houses is going. It’s like a big dare. It’s also why almost all of my friends have moved to Washington, or Oregon. Because no one has a freakin future here anymore. Add on kids, forget it, you’re done for paly. Hope you have a ton of fun trying to be optimistic, and have the elite tune out your suffering. The real problem is all the people who stay are usualy older, and guess what, no one will be around to do any of the jobs they can’t. Their greed will seal the deal on their future as well. It’s sad really. Plus traffic. pollution, asthetic degredation. Man what a beautiful world we live in. I can’t wait until I can at least collect the social security I’ve paid into all these years. Oh wait, I probably won’t get that either. Oh well. Bunny’s and kittens for everyone. Vegan Cake and chai tea’s on me.

Love,

The lines of the blog which seems to have brought so much controversy, which after blasting HMO’s, and Pharmaceutical companies, along with Gross Polluters of our oceans, and how much I despise people who mistreat the elderly, and abuse children, apart from which I thought was a shared dislike among many, also closed with …..

“These are the words that scream past your skin,
that speak in the silence of your policies,
that I stand still in the daytime
and am deafened by
your psychic chatter
your scary twisted thoughts
all that filth and dirt you step on the brand new sneakers of my existence with
it makes me feel sick
and better yet it makes me feel sad…
and yes, you finally guessed it
I hear it before you say it
I feel it before the words erupt from your mouth
and fly at me like daggers
I can lock my doors when my eyes are closed
I can see you when stand still when they’re still shut
and instantly know you’re there
I can feel the wrongs done to you with a touch of your hand or when you brush against me
I can see the memories that you think are only your own
and my dreams come true before I know what they are,
and most of the time
they just make me cry
just me and God and a sigh in the morning
and I get up and do it all again.

And does anybody listen….

most of the time, no.

But you really really dig my tunes,

I guess that’s good enough.

Now you know my existence…

Question is, what will you do, and what is it to you?

Just be like the State of California,

“See if we care”…. it says

Indeed State of California,

We’ll see how God feel’s about people like you,
trying to keep down people like me,
yes indeed State of California, you better believe,
oh yes indeed,
we’ll see who laughs last.”

Which would for the most part make this a faith based rant about injustice, and the insults that are heaped on good people trying to make a difference by those who are loveless, and evil, and some verbage about some aspects of my life I don’t talk about that often, and just like I said before this all happened, “and does anybody listen? Most of the time, no.”

Glad I still got it. But that’s a little bit creepy don’t you think?

Just because I express my faith in a way that is more mellow, or controversial, and people friendly, or abstract, doesn’t mean it’s not an expression of my faith. Remember that before you’re so quick to judge.

Love,

Jeff