Jeffs-Site

I’ve spent another decent portion of the day just feeling a little sad
I have a hard time at IKEA
It was really difficult actually
I try to make it a positive thing
I try to have fun
I try to zero in on the stuff I want
sometimes I can roll through it
but the air is ripe with new couples
where things are going right
there they are
coming to the conclusions that are so evident to the less than egotistical
that you’ve got to be able to haggle out and work out decisions together
it’s a honing of the blade the cuts life down
that force the two of you become
that syncronicitous entity
that reflect God as a totality when you’re behaving properly
and I don’t mean arguing necessarily
just the ability to bounce ideas and preferences and logically come to a conclusion together
without the other getting their feelings hurt or pouting
that kind of stuff
and there they’ll be
walking along
guys definitely not any better looking than me
with these great looking girls
all starry eyed
and fucking happy
and there it goes
the tear down my eye
the pain in my head
the ache in my heart
and I start to wonder with my shiny red beard
and my nice green eyes
my t shirt
and my jeans
just trying to be nice
friendly
hands in my pockets
one on a big stupid yellow bag
and I just start to wonder if I’m going to loose it
right there
water works and all
ah ah ah,
can’t let that happen now can we Jeff,
people are watching
walking on by,
trying to have a nice day
doing their thing
don’t mess it up for them by getting so sad in the middle of ikea
they want a new bureau
she’s 4 months along Jeff
and they’re so happy
he’s got a great job
and she’s a go getter
and they’re in love
and doing well
they don’t want to be bothered by your excruciating agony
they don’t care about your circumstance
the don’t’ have time to care
and after all, God will get to you in his good time,
He cares
he loves you
everythings cool
just be patient…..
fine , whatever
can I still cry while I’m trying to be patient?
cause I’ve got no one to buy flowers for?
just, no one to talk to?
no one to help me figure things out….?
no fucking answers?
no giggles
no laughs
no nice warm soft hand
no looks that make me feel sheepish cause I can tell she really digs me
and a nice cold bed?
maybe I can get a deal for a new frame on that nice cold bed
here at good ole IKEA
right?
If I could only just excuse myself and just come unglued for sec
like that’ll happen
what, in the GUYS bathroom?
yeah that’s a great place
actually
people aren’t so bad sometimes….
they’ll at least check in and give you a “are you cool dude?”
or “dude, you all right in there?”
which is totally cool
that will fit the bill
“yeah I’m good, just a rough minute, thanks though…”
“right on”…
not so bad
no guarantee’s that’ll be the crowd,
but I have to at least be fair
and be honest, true, you know….
but yeah
after I’m a little red eyed for a sec
I’ll just look around at something,
play it off
rub my nose
act like my contacts are bothering me
rub my eyes
and then move about ….
get back on track
no one’s the wiser
it was just a moment
a minute
out of many minutes
no one’s the wiser
except for you
and me
and God
and I just get back to shopping and walking with the crowd
that was quite a moment though
and no one noticed
no one asked a thing
never fucking do
gotta suck it up
keep it together
sigh
yep
that was quite a moment
all that
in the blink or blinks of sad reddened eyes…..
deep breath,……
count to ten
maybe fifteen….
ok
yep that was quite a moment
and I thought finding a bowl that looked nice in the sun on my deck was going to be the real challenge….
shows how much I know….
what can you say I guess…..
some days are just better than others….
and sometimes it’s ok to cry for just a sec in the bathroom at ikea…
nighty nite.

God still loves you.

Jeff

Who’ll defend my generation from such grandiose rapists of our hearts and minds
our potential hopes and dreams
I don’t think people quite realize the toll that we’re facing sometimes
the weight
the abuse
the sheer knife of it all
with regars to so many things
we’re nothing more than batteries
hooked up to be exploited dismissed
and thrown away
let’s start with housing associations
how deeply I hate them
what filth
in generations past things were built according to just their urge to be built and based on the need to present something
a natural progression that was uninhibited with alterior motives and hidden agendas
no one prior to this last generation was so filled with filth and sick that they woud try to come between a man and his house and the psycholigical and emotional true ownership and freedom that went with it
if it was yours it was yours
no one says what blinds yu can have or what color your fucking fence needed to be
f word f word fword fuck you if you don’t like it hypocrite
you know you use it too
spoken or not it’s in your heart and on the tip of your tongue so the sin has already been comitted
I just print it
so don’t start in with all your holier than thou flippant horseshit
you’re worse than me because at least I’m not a liar, and I don’t hide it
anyway I digress,
for those who are trying to find and buy a home
which up until now was just the way it went
the system was still working, it had a progression
but you wound up with a house that was really yours with all it implied
no muss no fuss, and no HOA’s with their CC&R’s
association presidents
tyrants
sycophants
dictators
you mock all those who suffered for this countries freedom and it’s citizens rights
you’re the lowest of the low
exploiting the need for housing
in the guise of security
wait why does that sound familiar..
….
..

oh that’s right, now I remember…..
But up until recently no one would dare to try and wedge themselves between ownership and it’s inherent freedoms.
now for us we are under attack in our hopes of a house of our own by people who see our humble needs as nothing more than a means of exploitation, and oppression,
assaulting your personal expression, and distinctions,
even though you still have all the liabilities and bills of a normal house
you’re back in the housing association game
with other’s dictating what you can’t do
who have no qualification to dictate anything
no degrees in behavioural science to at least appear educated or offer justification
no degrees on effective management
just a need for power, and a satanic guise of trying to appear they are doing something good when clearly they are out to puff themselves up, and oppress others for financial gain.
It’s an Associastocracy.
You have no guarantee of their beliefs
or their morals
of them in any way
just a name and a face
and for sure a floofy signature.

So much for that nice house of your own…..
This is all you get if you are trying to afford something
fuck your baby
fuck your wife
fuck your garden
fuck your elbow room
Ameriwhat?
Sorry, it’s the Associastocracy
and your are a rightless subject under Fascist rule,
we control
you pay
the line starts over there to collect your stamps and bread
have a nice day…..

Unfortunately for us, when it’s all said and done
if you were to take that person who oppresses you
collectively as a group
or as a mob (hopefully not)
and go to their house
toss them out on their ass
tip their car on it’s side
chase them out of town
with torches
hopps and hollars
having driven away a demon from your midst
you most likely would be faulted am I wrong?
you would be the lawbreaker
you would be the aggressor
you would be the violent insurgent
you would be problem somehow
not the tyrant trying to keep you down
not the company with billions of dollars of ill gotten gain
off in some remote portion of another city
another country
on a 20th story floor
sending out emails and making phone calls
willfully blind and self inflicted sequesteringly isolated by their own choosing
to avoid possibly having to see the consequence of their actions
the extent of their oppression
their murderous onslaught of your happiness
the eclipse of your prosperity
and denial of the most basic hopes and dreams of home ownership
twist and writhe
crush their bones
drain their blood
sell their parts
get the flamethrowers
start the bulldozers
load the guns
rally the lawyers
the insurgents might be at the door
and it’s all done silently and cleanly
and proper as all get out
legalized oppression
sanctioned exploitation
sanitized persecution
legitimized extinction
who will save us from these whores?
From the Irvine Companies of the World?
From the needles in their hands nickel and dime-ing us of a milliliter of blood at a time
crushing our hopes silently one home at a time…
and the home owners of the generation prior
just go right on by
unaware of the severity
unaware of the extent
unaware of the dwindling chances that we call tomorrow
soaring down the charts at an alarming rate
then you add in our lovely Social Security
ok kids
take a deep breath and wave goodbye
cause you just might never see it
and then there’s our health insurance
well good luck with that
hmo’s ppo’s, not fucking likely
we’ll take all you got, but we won’t pay that much , hope that’s ok…..
and the jargon, the speech, we’ve all gone insane from the gibberish
but no one’s talking about it
even the people that speak it can’t make sense of what they say and aren’t sure it all comes full circle if they try to make it make sense
that makes me feel so much better
in a crappy sort of way

And then there’ s our lovely president
president dirtbag
president idiot
you now it’s something like this

first of all we were fucking BOMBED!!!!!!
Bombed!!!!
And it was from a group that was tied with someone named Bin Laden
so in our nations outcry for justice we wanted to see that guy and all his little pals caught and dead.
squashed like a little bug out in that gosh damn desert they call their home

and did the president deliver on this?
No
No he did not
What did he do Jeff?
Well let me tell ya
he took our nations outcry for justice, and used it as a way to try and enact a personal vendetta on a man that threatened his fathers life instead of serving the people he was elected to represent
the little runt of a man, the the special kid
the mean streaked short bus rider of the family
so out of touch with his own subconscious and poorly integrated as he is
though no one would notice
the disappointment of the family
tried to make daddy proud at our expense
by usung our urge for retaliation and while the shock was still impairing everyone’s thinking
he slipped it into gear
bombs away on saddam
a vendetta from years long gone
and sent innocent noble men who took at face value that we could trust that they were being sent into a justified battle or conflict
to their end without explanation
wait a minute you said…..?
What about bin laden?

He’s the one we should be attacking!
Hes’ the one we should be at war with Jeff!

What the hell are we doing over there in Iraq?

We’re cleaning up the mess of an ignorant and arrogant inconsiderate man Jeff
trying to make it look like we got a grip
and covering up the snow job this guy tried to pull on the American people
while completely neglecting the search for bin laden
pissing away millions
and sending peoples kids to their end for reasons that should not have been

Our chant should be…
“We have not forgotten, where the hell’s bin Laden?,
enough’s enough’s Iraq, we want our children back!”

Now we’re just screwed.. We have to wipe them the fuck out and leave it a place their nutless soldiers can attempt to take control so we don’t have that on our heads or leave room for bin Laden’s posse to jump in…

What a mess… When it started I said Iraq would be the new vietnam, and I was totally right. I WILL SAY I FUCKING TOLD YOU SO! I”M SMARTER THAN THE PRESIDENT! SHIT WHO ISN’T EXCEPT THE PEOPLE WHO VOTED FOR HIM!

And way back on the history pages it even get’s better……..

He’s there originally because of what?

All because the vote stalled in what state ? Oh yeah that’s right , Florida….. Wait isn’t George bush’s brother the governor there?

wow, you know that’s really a coincidence Jeff, what are the chances that out of all the states, in the whole country, that the one state the votes would get stalled for a close tie, would be the state where his brother was the Governor? Wow, that’s quite a feat…. What a coincidence!

Mm Hmm, or maybe not.

So there we go,

and then we have Exxon screwing us as raw as it gets,
the FDA oh man, we don’t’ have room for me to talk about the FDA,
the DEA the FDA, the HMO’s
all the abbreviation entities…
all those guys that are supposed to … just fuck it…

And someone has the nerve to ask why it’s a little discouraging sometimes for someone in my generation….

Well, for the thinking man, for the one with a conscience, for the one with some decent ethics and morals….
From where I’m standing, our own country has extended a great big finger right in the face of our hopes, happiness, freedoms, and rights. Who will fight our corrupted officials and those who support them?

I will and more importantly God will. With my prayers, and my actions, and all my being. I will. It’s better to die on your feet, than to live on your knees.

I’m a mess too, but at least I don’t try to pull the kind of shit we’re talking about here.
Not to that extent at least.

I’m hip to your shit Dub ya, clocks ticking baby. and it’s all about to change.